Sad truth, I can't

Assalamualaikum,,

Hei, hei, alhamdulillah, the hardest assignment, peak of the semester which was presentation review article, at last,, DONE!!!!! Nervous tahap nak terberak sangat pun mampu tahan.. yes,, ni bukan gebang because on the same day time tu jugak la sakit perut.. apa ntah yang dah salah makan.. masalah jugak la bila nervous campur sakit perut.. Dah habis present elok pulak perut ny,, haishhhh,,, 

Somehow, to reach this level,, especially this semester,, not that easy.. 

When you have very important, hardest, time consuming assignments,, time tu jugak la masalah bertimbun-timbun datang. One after another. 

When the problem affect your work performance,, after weeks, hanya satu page of the article je dihantar and kena marah dengan supervisor especially when she said my review article was not interesting.. Rasa speechless.. Nak nangis (i mean dah nangis because of this). Tak tahu nak salahkan siapa sebab obviously that was my fault. As i mixed my personal problem with my work.. 

And because of this problem, i feel like i have problem with everyone. Either i hate everyone, or everyone hates me.. 

I just can't,, bila ada rasa tak suka dan benci dekat orang lain.. But somehow,, I tried my best to just forgive them.. and forget everything. yes, everything,, 

BUT I CANT!

whoever yang pernah rasa like betrayed by someone yang dah kenal for a very long time,, will know how i felt. 

Tengok gambar pun rasa tak mampu.

Bila teringat semula, rasa nak nangis, rasa marah, geram, benci,

Sakit. 

Sakitnya masih disini.

But i dont like this feeling. 

Aku pernah sakitkan hati orang sangat ke?

Then, when I made my decision,,

datang lagi orang yang hate me because of my decision..

I just dont know,, what i should do..

Thank you. 

Pelangi tiada setiap hari

Hye and assaamualaikum.

Rasa macam lapuk sangat as the latest update was last year,, or more than a year I guess. Sekarang pun dah sem 5. FINAL YEAR weiiiii. Final year. *nangis peluk bantal. Time tu la nak kena but review article, kena baca berpuluh research article orang lain, buat report, buat assignment. Nak balik kampung pun macam tak berapa nak ada harapan. Nak pergi toilet pun rasa macam kena postpone akibat kesibukan diri. haha. Over! 

Not to forget, to reach this level, memang ada ups and downs yang dah dilalui. Tak cukup tidur buat report, stress level meningkat, study last minute (wajib) ,ok jangan sampai ada aneurysm ke stroke ke apa dah la. But somehow, dapat jugak la sampai ke level ni *masih nangis golek-golek. Hopefully semua pass and dapat graduate on time la. Amin.

Anddddd, bukan masalah study je. Masalah kehidupan pun membelenggu diri. Tapi lebih parah lagi when our expectation remains as expectation yang hanya memarahkan hati dan fikiran. Things we expect not as what we expected. 

Hope is just hope.

Promise is just promise.

Only two places where we can keep the love. In the heart, or in the hand.

Only two love exists in this world, 

Love to Allah or Love to other than Allah.

kita sendiri judge hati dan diri kita di mana kah kita meletakkan cinta-cinta yang kita ada. 

lebih jelas lagi dapat dilihat bila kita kehilangan cinta yang kita puja selama ni.

Semoga kita di ampunkan.

Mohon maaf atas segala salah dan silap selama ini.

Salam perpisahan.

^ acah-acah raya. ;p